Saturday, 31 December 2016

MY QUIRKY LOVE(SHORT PLAY)

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Stacy is sitting in bed in her wedding dress still on her blinks and all. Todd walks into the room in his wedding suit, holding his tie. He walks to Stacy with a smile, puts his tie on the bed and kneels in front of her.
TODD
(on his kneels)
Baby I want you to know that you are everything I want, I’m so happy you are finally Mrs. Brent; you are my now and my f... um are you checking your fucking emails right now?
STACY
(busted)
What?
TODD
Your emails
STACY
What do you mean?
TODD
On your phone
STACY
I didn’t do anything
TODD
Nothing?
STACY
I refreshed my Facebook
TODD
Stacy
STACY
Yeah
TODD
I’m trying to make this night a memorable one
STACY
I know
TODD
You knew? You were refreshing your Facebook
STACY
Is that a bad thing?
TODD
That’s not what you do on a wedding night
Stacy looks down at her phone
STACY
John and Sam said congratulations
TODD
Congratulations for what?
STACY
Our wedding
TODD
They said that at the wedding
STACY
Yes I know; they are saying it again
TODD
How where?
STACY
Twitter
TODD
Great.
STACY
So do I get my gift?
Todd brings out a car key from his pocket and tosses it on her laps. It’s a rude way of doing things but Stacy doesn’t even notice. Todd stands up and walks to a table and sits on a stool in front of her some steps in between them
Stacy picks it up and hands it back to him
STACY(CONT’D)
Wow so nice, hold it for me
TODD
What?
STACY
Hold it – I want to take a picture
TODD
Shouldn’t you check it first?
STACY
Instagram
TODD
What?
STACY
I thought you asked why I’m taking the picture
TODD
I think you need to read that article about how internet is ruining our brains
STACY
Our brains?
TODD
Your brain
STACY
You need to accept it
TODD
Your messed up brain
STACY
My request
TODD
What request?
STACY
A change in relationship status
TODD
(lost)
What are you talking about?
STACY
On Facebook, it says I’m married and you are in a relationship
TODD
You’ve done that already? You’ve not even looked down at your phone since—
STACY
Are you going to change it?
TODD
It’s not a big deal
STACY
People will think we’ve broken up
TODD
Let them think
STACY
That’s mean
TODD
Why?
STACY
I don’t know, just change it
TODD
I want a divorce
STACY
Fine but first change your status
TODD
Jesus
Todd bashes his head on the table beside him
STACY
Are you gonna ch--? Niki said congrats
TODD
(looks up at her)
What? Where? I didn’t tell her
STACY
Foursquare
TODD
(furrows)
What! When did you have the time to log in?
STACY
When you were fumbling on making the night memorable
TODD
I wasn’t fumbling
STACY
I completed four goes on ‘Draw something’
TODD
Are you going to tweet through tonight’s wedding sex?
STACY
(offended)
No of course not
Todd breathes a sigh of relieve. He removes his suit jacket, puts it on the table and loosens the first two buttons on his shirt
TODD
Good. I think we should have a no device policy in this house-
STACY
This is a hotel not our house
TODD
-- You tweeted throughout the wedding!
STACY
No, I didn’t
TODD
You put the ring on my middle finger; you weren’t even listening to Reverend Daniels
STACY
I thought he said Amen already. I was just checking our live blog
Todd exhales
TODD
I didn’t ask you to bring a blogger
STACY
I told you, there are 7bilion people on the planet and I was sure half of them wouldn’t be able to stand your mother; so how would that half see our wedding?
TODD
You don’t like my mom
STACY
I just find her profile a bit narcissistic
TODD
Oh she could have stayed home on the big day and help run the blog
STACY
Really?
Todd gazes at her with a plain expression, Stacy ignored the meaning
STACY(CONT’D)
I think we could do some Google adds and spread the word on our Facebook page we can get a lot of hits
(pause)
That’s a great idea, we could have set webcam’s up and get a feed going directly to Facebook
Todd is completely lost
TODD
Are you talking about our wedding?
STACY
Yes
TODD
It’s off
STACY
No it’s not, we’ve done it already
TODD
Stacy I don’t want to marry you again
STACY
We’ve just announced it on
Facebook
TODD
I haven’t announced anything; then announce the divorce
Todd stands and starts to walk to the other side of the bed
STACY
We had a perfect wedding
TODD
Somehow I doubt we are going to have a perfect post wedding
STACY
I know we will
(beats)
Maybe we could send your mother on a cruise or something
Todd is taken aback, he walks back and sits at alert
TODD
You really don’t like my mother?
STACY
Yesterday she wrote on my
Facebook ‘size six shoes’
TODD
She mixes up Facebook with EBay, just delete her from your Facebook and let her come to our house
STACY
Or we could always talk to her on Skype from home
Todd stands
TODD
Girl, you are insane, Life isn’t about computer websites, it’s about real life, the connection between us; nature!
Stacy stares at him blankly
STACY
I didn’t understand any of that
(pause)
It’s the way the modern world is, the connectivity is bringing us closer
TODD
I just wish I had a girlfriend who, in the middle of sex, didn’t yell out ‘Oh My God, Tia just met Richard Branson’
STACY
The iPad was right there at the end of the bed; it only came up because you sat on it
TODD
And that makes it alright?
STACY
What is your problem?
TODD
Do we have to do this tonight?
STACY
You are always insecure in bed
TODD
Oh great. When I have a partner whose favorite part about sex is scrolling through the news feed
Stacy grabs Todd’s hand and lovingly pulls him to sit; he sits back on the stool
STACY
Look; Todd. I love you I really do. I’ve had some great times with you; that’s why I’ve uploaded so many fun pictures of us
TODD
Right.
STACY
And we’ve been through a lot, seen many changes
TODD
That’s true
STACY
It was tough when we moved from MySpace to Facebook. And getting you to try Gmail was a nightmare---
TODD
Stacy
STACY
Yes darling
TODD
I think you have a problem
STACY
This is where you think I’m addicted to the internet
TODD
Yes
STACY
No I’m not
TODD
How do you know?
STACY
I googled it
TODD
You googled it
STACY
You can check my search history
TODD
I believe you
STACY
And I don’t have any of the symptoms
TODD
I think you do
STACY
Look, it’s just a different way of being. You are addicted to being outside and going for walks, swimming- I’m addicted to connecting with people and sharing experiences
TODD
But you are not! You are addicted to your iPhone
STACY
No. I just like being connected to people. I think you need to accept that you are behind times and that you are jealous of how connected I am with the people in my life
TODD
I think maybe you are actually a little insane
Todd looks at Stacy; she is doing something on her phone
TODD(CONT’D)
I’m sorry, but sitting here right now while you are tapping away on your phone I don’t think I’ve ever felt so disconnected from anyone
(pause)
Now what are you doing?
STACY
Replying to some guy
TODD
(frowns)
What do you mean replying to some guy?
STACY
He asked me out on a date
TODD
Why did he ask you out on a date?
STACY
That’s what they do?
TODD
What what do?
STACY
The men who are on dating sites
Todd throws his hand up in disbelief
TODD
You’re on dating site
STACY
You said our marriage is off
TODD
So that’s it? You’re just going on dating sites without even telling me?
STACY
I told you
TODD
What when?
STACY
Check your email
TODD
What?
STACY
I emailed you that it’s over
TODD
Wow this is healthy, so just like that it’s over?
STACY
Don’t you worry I will still share that Swiss ticket with you
TODD
Sorry to break it to you, we are married and your internet won’t work for you this time. You don’t just get to say it’s over in legal marriage
STACY
I emailed the lawyer too, to start the divorce process
Todd sighs
TODD
So I’m gonna go?
STACY
Not tonight
Todd stands looking sad and walks to the bed; he sits on the bed and removes his shoes with his legs.
STACY
Just for the record, Todd. You have dismissed everything I love about technology and my friends; about how I like to be part of a community- you see it as avoiding life but have you noticed?
TODD
(sits on bed)
What?
STACY
You are the one going home alone
TODD
Can we still be friends?
STACY
Not on Facebook
Todd sleeps and faces his own side of the bed, sad. Stacy sleeps and faces her own side of the bed, smiling
STACY
Todd
TODD
What?
STACY
Have you checked your email?
TODD
Does it matter?
STACY
Yes you should
Todd picks his iPhone on the table by his side and checks her message in his email. It reads ‘YOU ARE MY NOW AND FOREVER’.
Todd happy gives a big smile looking at his phone; he turns to her just as she does the same smiling at him; they hug each other tight feeling so happy.

1 comment:

  1. Todd you should have divorced her even before you got married....hehehe

    ReplyDelete

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